Collared Pet

Meep

2008-04-04T20:34:47Z

So, I'm pretty sure tonight is going to be the night Master gives me an Ambien and uses me while I'm on it. He says he wants to take pictures too. On one hand that really turns me on, but it also scares me a lot and I'm sort of afraid. If he does it tonight, wish me luck.

Blarg

2008-03-27T16:29:28Z

So, I hate anal sex more than almost anything in the whole wide world. Master Likes it. But the real problem comes when he actually tries, I find it very hard to stay still so that he can use me. I can in small, useless half second bursts, but after that I twist and try to get away. Sometimes he likes this as it lets him have to hold me in place, but when he actually just wants to fuck me I still try to get away. I just can't help it. He said it's something we are going to be working on (which means more anal sex. blarg). I really want to be able to do it for him, when I -can- stay still he usually cums very well. It bothers me there's something I'm not able to do for him 100% of the time, even when he tells me to. I hope I can get better about it.

The Pain!

2008-03-12T16:17:11Z

Some nights, Master gets in the mood to beat me. He takes me into the bedroom and usually has me strip and get on my hands and knees on the bed, then takes up the crop or flogger and haves at it. Since this began, each time he's been beating me a little harder each time, and don't get me wrong, I'm a masochist, but this last time was bordering on unbearable.

But painful enough to make me use my safeword by a longshot, but with each strike of the flogger I was screaming, sometimes collapsing forward as I fought the urge to curl up and hide. Even though I couldn't see his face, I knew Master was happy.. occasionally he'd sort of chuckle or run his hand over my exposed ass, or dig his fingers into my pussy. I was very horny, but the level of pain had me a bit wary of his actions, and by the time he decided to fuck me it took a while to get into it. But get into it I did ;) I love the feeling after a beating where every inch that was touched by the falls feels warm with blood, and I'm still just a little bit shakey and scared.

Master fucked me pretty hard, even after he came (which I love) and later commented on little kitty noises I was making *blush*. I'm happy we only ever do this every two weeks or so, this is something I would never want to get sick of.

The only thing that worries me is the urge I get sometimes to curl up or to turn around and shove him. I don't want to have these feelings, but sometimes self preservation puts up a good fight against the desire to be a good slave. I suggested (half jokingly) that he might have to start tying me up to beat me if it gets any harder any sooner, and he seemed to think that was a good idea. ^^;; We'll see what happens.

On the Floor

2008-03-07T17:28:35Z

At night, I usually sleep on the floor on Master's side of the bed. Last night he took advantage of this and uncovered me just as I was getting to sleep, told me to take my pants off and fucked me. I love this, especially since immediately after he just gets back into bed and goes to sleep.

sniff

2008-02-20T21:10:53Z

Master broke my favorite jeans last night. We were in the car and he pulled into a parking lot and went to undo my jeans, and the button came off. I'll need to go clothes shopping soon.

Master kept me horny all of yesterday and told me in the car that he wanted to get his hard cock into me later that night, but he had to work 'till very late and by the time he was done, all he had the energy for was a blow job. I guess that's sort of in me, but I was so horny and I was really hoping to get fucked. oh well.. at least Master got to come, and that helps him sleep better.

Sometimes I have to remind myself to push my own wants and feelings aside for Master. I want to get better at that. I shouldn't be upset when he doesn't fuck me, because that's what he wants. I should be content with what he gives me, when he gives it to me. One day I'll be like that.

The Internet shall be my downfall.

2008-02-19T22:09:23Z

While talking to Master while he was at work through IM, I mentioned that I was super horny. Last night he teased me for a long time but didn't let me cum, and I remembered it and it made me horny all over again. Then he instructed me to get one of our hairbrushes and fuck myself with the handle for 15 minutes (after washing it). I can't believe how wet I got. I also can't believe how much I love sex ^_^

Omg.

2008-02-15T20:20:17Z

Valentine's day sex is the best. It was also master's birthday. He liked his present. YAY!

A piece of Meat

2008-02-13T17:34:51Z

Last night after some very nummy sex in the living room, I told Master how I like to imagine, while he's fucking me (and that this may be the truth, I don't live in his head), that he's not thinking about me at all, that he's just using this object below him to get him off, and how much that really turns me on. He told me that that is often the case, which sent all kinds of happy shivers through me. He also said that my sounds of pain and pleasure also get him going, so sometimes he likes to focus on fucking me as hard as he can to make me squeal (I'm a very vocal lil' slave). I love my Master.

Want to talk?

2008-02-08T19:40:39Z

I got an AIM you can reach me at:

HisCollaredPet

I won't reveal anything specific about who I am unless I already know you. But I'll talk about anything else if you want (Minus cyber sex and the like, I'm owned, I don't want anyone else and I'm NOT ALLOWED TO PLAY)

Feeling better

2008-02-08T18:25:59Z

I got the computer a soon as I woke up today so I could talk to Master, which always makes me feel better. So far today has been alright. Last night Master and I watched a movie and then played around on the couch again.. no rape this time ^_^. I still love it when Master uses me in any way however, I love being his little pleasure toy.

Emotions

2008-02-07T22:51:37Z

The last few days have been weird, I've constantly been feeling down except for when Master is at home. He works for most of the day and gets home around 6 PMish, before that I mostly have free time and chores to do and stuff. But I feel sort of numb while it's all going on, I just want to close my eyes and turn on auto pilot or something 'till he gets home.

Master thinks (and I agree) that I'm just getting bored.. I don't really have anything substantial to do except for the chores, which is honestly when I'm the least bored. Maybe it's time for me to get a job or something. I just need something to do. I need more friends and things to think about. Even things I don't like. Just things.

Sooooo

2008-02-06T18:59:12Z

The whole original reason I made this journal was because of what me and Master did the other night. I wanted to scream it to the world but.. I had no one to scream to. Now I do.

One of my biggest fantasies is rape. Being caught by an older, stronger man and tied down and used while I cry and beg for him to let me go, even though I know there is no hope. Lucky for me, Master has a thing for being the older stronger man and holding girls down while they cry and beg to be let go, knowing they have no hope of escape.

The other night before bed when Master was done with his internettings, somehow he managed to slowly back me into a corner (hehe) and get my pants off. Oh no! I was caught in the middle of giggling and trying to push him away so he had someone to hold down. Soon after the giggles ended and he had me.. he's so strong it scares me sometimes, when he moves me I move and when he holds me, I (usually) stay. He pulled me to the couch and pushed me down into it, I stayed silent with my eyes down as he got naked. I knew he was going to use me and I got excited, but I kept my eyes down and sort of began to wiggle away from him. Master pushed my head back against the arm of the couch and held me by the throat, something that almost always triggers instant submission, hands around my neck both terrified and excites me. I love to be scared. Master then told me that he was going to fuck me, but first he was going to eat me, and he knelt on the floor and, holding my legs apart, he ate me out. It's so hard to pretend to not to want it when he's doing that, every time it forces me to whimper and moan and wiggle. When he was finished and I was good and wet, he climbed up onto the couch to fuck me, and the real fun began. I stayed wordless but whined at his every move as he touched me and tried to force his way in.. I used my legs to push at his chest, but he caught my arms and held them to the couch, removing a bit of my leverage. Eventually (as always) he found his way inside me, and I whimpered and twisted against him every turn of the way. Occasionally he would slap me or twist my arms and wrists which would keep me still for a while, but never long. After a while he had me move to the other end of the couch and he fucked me some more. Sometimes I would give up and lay motionless, but I always ended up fighting back which angered him and led to him threatening me or hurting me. Everything felt so good and I wanted to just let him fuck me 'till I came, but that would ruin the game, now wouldn't it?

Eventually I was fighting so much that he moved to fuck me int he ass, which I hate even in normal sex. I couldn't help but to fight him more.. he just giggled at my efforts but continued to fuck my pussy. Then he sat back on the couch and said that if I didn't want tog et fucked, maybe I should suck on him, and he grabbed my hair and pulled me down to his cock. I closed my eyes tight and kept turning my head to the side, but he said until I did it he'd just keep making it hurt worse.. he pulled harder and harder on my hair 'till eventually I opened up and took him in. Now, I -love- to give blow jobs and so much of me just wanted to suck as well as I could and make him cum right then and there.. but again, it would ruin the game. I timidly and gently sucked on him, moving slowly up and down, tongue static. Again he quietly giggled at me and occasionally pushed my head down on him, making me squeal and wiggle, but he held me firmly in place.Eventually he pulled my head up and he fucked me some more.. but then told me to get on my knees. I slowly turned around, pretending to be afraid of being slapped or twisted again, and I knelt over the arm of the couch.

He pulled my ass back towards him and I'd try to pull it forward, making it harder for him to fuck me. Finally he dug his fingers into my hips and with a loud whimper I stayed where he wanted me to, and he fucked me again. Sometimes I'd twist and pull but he'd always pull me back, usually by the neck or hair. It was then that I began to beg to be let go.. with my fingers dig into the couch I pleaded over and over for my release. He only answered occasionally however, with a simple, hope-killing 'no.' I started to cry and whine, clinging to the couch as my only comfort. After a while I went somewhat limp and ended my crying, essentially a motionless fuck toy. Master giggled and said "Oh really?" when he realized this and moved to fuck my ass. I was going to try to stay silent and let him, but in our positions it really hurt, even when he was hardly in, and I began to wiggle and cry again, telling him no and pulling away. He just laughed at me, and went back to fucking my pussy which was very, very wet. This incident inspired new fight in my and I fought him again, but he pushed me hard against the couch and held me there as he raped me as I cried. It felt so, so good.

I can't remember exactly when, but he stopped fucking me at one point to bury his fingers inside of me, another thing I love very much. I masked my moans with whimpers and cries, and used everything inside of me to keep from matching his strokes to get him deeper inside of me. After fucking me again, and when I had given up for the second time, he came inside of me and moved away, but I stayed where I was, terrified. He started to spank me and strike me all over, and I told him that Is topped fighting so he didn't have to do that. He told me he just wanted to hurt me. When he was done I slowly sat down and curled up, but he wasn't done with me yet. He grabbed roughly at my breasts and layed me out fully on the couch. I buried my face into the cushions and whimpered and tried to cover myself with my arms as he looked me over, but he'd grab my arms and out them at my sides. He played with my pussy again, but then told me to start rubbing my clit. I reluctantly did so after he told me a second time, but it was slow and without any feeling. He told me to make myself come, and naturally I told him that I couldn't. He said fine, but instead he was going to beat me again. He slapped my breasts and thighs many times, making me cry out every time as I continued to slowly rub my clit. Every so often I couldn't help but to rub a little faster but I usually caught myself within a few seconds. After the beating he stood over me and he started to touch himself as he watched me.. when I caught on I tried to cross my legs and cover up as much as possible, but he kept putting my limbs back into place. Soon he came all over my body and I whined and hid my face deeper. He had me rub my quit a bit longer as he rubbed his cum into my skin. Then he sat down on the other end of the couch and put my legs over his lap, and he stroked them gently and told me I could stop rubbing myself. I lated there, still and submissive, 'till he told me it was cuddle time and that I could sit up and nuzzle his chest. He made sure nothing hurt and that I wasn't scared, and the two of us stayed up for another hour talking about what had happened.. and then somehow movies and other things.

It was a good, late night.